On my way to the door, I said, ‘Goodnight, Nan.’‘Don’t I get my goodnight kiss?’ she answered.I was far too nervous to face her, so pretended not to hear and bolted out the door up to bed.……..I don’t know what time she woke me. It was dark until she put the bedside lamp on and sat on the edge of my bed. I sat up and rested against the pillows, thankful there wasn’t a protrusion in my pjs.‘Is 16 too old to give Nan her goodnight kiss?’‘No, Nan. Of course not.’She moved close and kissed my lips. That was a surprise. Until then it had always been a hug and a peck on the cheek, nor was it a normal kiss, it was hot and urgent as though she hadn’t kissed anyone for a long time. Nan just kept on kissing me and after I recovered from my surprise I realized how much I was enjoying it. She had no intention of stopping. She drew her head back for a moment, but returned with increased passion. I had no experience of such kissing with no idea what to do, so I allowed myself to wallow in the. . because I felt I'd forced you to see things my way ... that I made you believe it was okay."It was more than okay, Jackie. I don't give a shit what others might think about what we did. It was wonderful. You made me feel good about myself. I owe you so much for that."What about what I've done about Dexter and Kira? What about ... what you've done with them, because of me? I ... I agree about us ... but what about them?"Did you see, Jackie?"See what?"Their first time together, and the times since..."No... I tried to concentrate on the memories still fresh in my mind. I focused, but couldn't bring it into vivid awareness. "I ... can't seem to bring you there."I'd love to see."I know," I replied, frustrated. I tried again, but once more, could not show Jackie the moments in my bed with Dexter and Kira. "I'm sorry."That's okay... "Jackie," I paused and tried to convey how it had felt to watch my children making love, giggling as a memory came back to me, "you remember that first night I.
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